If at First You Don't... Read online

  IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T ...

  by

  JOHN BRUDY

  ILLUSTRATOR VARGA]

  _To Amos Jordan, Secretary for Cislunar Navigation, no situation was unsolvable. There were rules for everything, weren't there.... Except maybe this thing ..._

  "What's the matter, anyway?" Amos Jordan snapped at his assistant. "Iseveryone in the Senate losing their mind?"

  "No more than usual," said Clements, the undersecretary. "It's just amatter of sentiment."

  "Sentiment?" Jordan poured himself a glass of lemonade. "What'ssentiment got to do with it? It's just a standard procedural problem."

  "Well, not exactly," began Clements soothingly. "After all, now, '58Beta was the first long-lived satellite ever launched, and the firstsuccessful shot of the old Vanguard series. People are proud if it. It'sa sort of monument to our early efforts in astronautics."

  * * * * *

  Jordan sipped experimentally, adding a little sugar.

  "But, Clem, the sky's full of the things," he complained. "There must bea hundred fifty of them in orbit right now. They're a menace tonavigation. If this one's due to fall out, I say good riddance."

  Clements spread his hands helplessly.

  "I agree, chief. But, believe me, a lot of people have made up theirminds about this thing. Some want to let it burn up. Some want toretrieve it and stash it in a museum. Either way it's a decision we'renot going to reach in this office."

  Jordan tossed down the rest of his lemonade.

  "I'd like to know why not," he snapped, almost bristling.

  "Well, frankly this thing is moving pretty fast." Clements fished afacsimile sheet out of his jacket pocket. "Everybody's getting into theact." He handed the sheet across the desk. "Read this; it'll bring youup to date."

  Jordan stared at the sheet.

  "_Senate Committee Probes Beta,_" ran the lead, followed by,

  "_The Senate Advisory Committee for Astronautics began hearing testimony this morning in an effort to determine the fate of satellite '58 Beta. Mr. Claude Wamboldt, leader of the CCSB (Citizens' Committee to Save Beta), testified that the cost of retrieving Beta from orbit would be trivial compared to its value as an object of precious historical significance. He suggested the Smithsonian Institution as an appropriate site for the exhibit. At the same time the incumbent Senator from Mr. Wamboldt's district filed a bill in the Senate which would add a complete wing to the Smithsonian to house this satellite and other similar historic objects. In later testimony Mr. Orville Larkin, leader of the unnamed committee representing those in opposition to the CCSB stated that his group felt that to snatch Beta from orbit at this moment of its greatest glory would be contrary to natural law and that he and his supporters would never concede to any plan to save it._"

  Jordan raised his head and stared over the fax sheet at Clements. "Am Igoing out of my mind, or did this really happen?"

  "It sure did ... and is," said Clements. "Later on, I am told, Wamboldtthrew a chair at Larkin, and the committee recessed after declaring bothmen in contempt."

  Jordan shook his head.

  "Why didn't somebody tell me about this?"

  "I sent you a ten page memo about it last week," objected Clements,somewhat aggrieved. "Gave you the whole story with extrapolations."

  "Memo! You know I never read memos! I ought to fire you ... I would if Icould ... you ... you 'appointee.'"

  Clements shook his head warningly. "Better not, chief. You'll need mefor the briefing."

  "Briefing? What briefing?"

  "_The_ briefing. You're scheduled to testify before the committeetomorrow afternoon at three."

  * * * * *

  _Senator Darius:_ Mr. Jordan, will you please state whether or not thereis a satellite body known as '58 Beta?

  _Mr. Jordan:_ Yes, sir, there is.

  _Senator D:_ Will you describe its present orbit?

  _Mr. J:_ I'd be glad to, Senator. It now has a perigee slightly below110 miles and an apogee of about 400 miles. The last perigee occurred400 miles last of the Seychelles Islands about 35 minutes ago. Roughlyits present position is about 250 miles above Manus Island.

  _Senator D:_ When do you expect it to enter the atmosphere for the finalplunge to its death?

  _Mr. J:_ (bridling) Well, Senator, we in the Secretariat don't usuallyrefer to such an occurrence in exactly those terms. It's really just aproblem in celestial mechanics to us, and ...

  _Senator D:_ (glaring) Your administrative assistant testified a fewmoments ago, sir, that '58 Beta has had a life of 185 years. Will youkindly explain to the committee how anything which has had a life canend in anything but death?

  _Mr. J:_ I ... uh ... I believe I appreciate your point of view,Senator. '58 Beta experiences a very steep re-entry at each perigee.According to our computers it will disintegrate on the 82nd or 83rdrevolution following that of 2:48 Greenwich crossing this afternoon.

  _Senator D:_ Tell us, Mr. Jordan ... how many revolutions about theMother Planet has '58 Beta made since its launching?

  _Mr. J:_ (hastily working his slide rule) Upwards of eight hundredthousand, I should say. I can provide you with an exact figure if youwish.

  _Senator D:_ That won't be necessary, Mr. Jordan. Eight hundredthousand, give or take a few paltry thousand, is close enough. Eighthundred thousand endless, lonely revolutions about an unthinking,uncaring, ungrateful world is quite enough. Quite enough, Mr. Jordan.Now sir; (squinting over his glasses) what do you think is the properaction to be taken in the matter of retrieving this historic satellitefrom its orbit so that it may be preserved as a living memorial to thegallant efforts of those early pioneers ... those brave and intrepid menof Cape Canaveral ... to stand forevermore as a beacon and a challengeto our school children, to our students, our aspirants for candidacy tothe Space Academy and to our citizens for all time to come?

  _Mr. J:_ Nothing, Senator.

  _Senator D:_ (aghast) Am I to understand, Mr. Jordan, that you aresuggesting that this symbol, this quintessence of an historic andmagnificent era in mankind's history ... this unique and precious object... should be allowed to destroy itself and be lost forever?

  _Mr. J:_ (squirming) Senator, there are dozens of those things up there.Every year one or two burns up. They have no usefulness. They're amenace to navigation. I ...

  _Senator D:_ (interrupting loudly) Mr. Jordan, what was the date of yourappointment to your present position?

  _Mr. J:_ April 11, 2138.

  _Senator D:_ Do you consider yourself fully qualified to hold thisaugust position?

  _Mr. J:_ (tight lipped) Senator, I am a graduate of the AdministrativeAcademy, the Logistics Staff School, and I have 31 years seniority in mydepartment. Furthermore ...

  _Senator D:_ (banging his gavel) Mr. Jordan, please! Try to rememberwhere you are! We had enough trouble yesterday with witnesses beforethis committee. There will be no more of it. And Mr. Jordan, while itmay be true that your technical qualifications for serving in yourpresent position may be adequate, it is clear to me and, I am sure,apparent to other members of this committee that your feeling forhistory and the relation of this problem to the destiny of the humanrace leave much to be desired. And, Mr. Jordan, may I emphasize ..._these_ are the things that count in the long, long haul!

  * * * * *

  Jordan sat limply at his desk, his hands hanging loosely at his sides."It's unbelievable," he muttered dully. "Where did this man Darius comefrom?"

  "It doesn't matter much," Clements answered unsympathetically. "It'swhere he is now that counts."

  Jordan shook his head.

  "There has to be a w
ay out. A clean, quick way out."

  After a moment's thought Clements said, "Isn't there a regulation aboutorbital debris?"

  Jordan nodded dully. "Someplace. Number 710.1, I think. Hasn't beeninvoked in years. Once they stopped using chemical fuels, we stoppedhaving wrecks."

  "Still," Clements went on more eagerly, "Beta's really a piece ofdebris, isn't it? It's not working or transmitting or whatever it wassupposed to do, is it?"

  "No." Jordan shrugged impatiently. "But, good grief, this thing isn'tdebris. Debris is ... is big _chunks_ of things; broken up spacestations, or ... or nuclear engines and things like that."

  "Hell, no, chief," yelled Clements, jumping to his feet.